Look for the Helpers: Helping Kids Through Tragedy

Helping children navigate tragedy can be tricky. That's why I always go back to something I learned from Mr. Rogers - Look for the helpers.

As I write this, I’m beside myself thinking about what happened at Apalachee High School in Georgia. Two teachers and two students were killed by a lone gunman who also sent nine others to the hospital with injuries.

Every time an event like this happens, I find it helpful to address it from a mom-perspective. These events are difficult to navigate when you have children. How do you explain bad things to an innocent little child - without scaring them? 

I learned my greatest parenting lesson from Mr Rogers. 

When my kids were little - like 5 and 2 - my husband traveled for work a lot. He would leave Sunday nights and not come home until Friday mornings - every week for 6 months. It was really hard, because I was a working, basically single mom, trying to keep it all together. 

So every night after dinner and baths, I would put Tori and Leonard in Tori’s bed with my laptop and I would stream a Mr Rogers episode. That gave me 28 minutes to clean up from dinner and get the kids ready for daycare and school the next day before I tucked them in, gave them kisses, and sent them off to sleep.

My kids still have fond memories of those nights. Mr. Rogers became somewhat of a grandfather for them. They learned about musical instruments and how things were made. They learned to be kind and curious. And it got me interested in Fred Rogers. How did this man build an empire of goodness for children for so many years? 

I started reading about him and I remember coming across an interview where he spoke about his mother and something she told him that changed how he looked at, well, the world. 

She said, whenever you see something bad happening, look for the helpers. No matter what is going on, you will always see people helping others by ushering them out of danger, assisting them medically, or putting themselves in harm's way to prevent more devastation. 

Look for the helpers. How simple. Take your mind away from the tragedy and put it on the goodwill of others.

This morning my heart is heavy and my head is swimming with questions about why and how. 

My prayers are with the families that lost loved ones. 

My prayers are with the students who survived and will never feel completely safe in a classroom again. 

And my prayers are with the helpers. Those who stepped into action to save lives and prevent further devastation.