Betting On Black: Fashion At 40

I was today years old when I realized I can’t dress the same as I used to. I turned 40 a few months back, and apparently, I can’t pull off some looks that I previously did. My realization came on a lazy Sunday in February, when I was just hanging out at the house doing laundry. My wife Michelle was out shopping with her mom. She came home, and I had not showered yet, and honestly, I wasn’t planning on it until later that evening. My hair was a little overgrown at the time, so I looked a tad disheveled. I still had to run some errands, but I really didn’t feel like showering. I grabbed a hat that I hadn’t worn in about 7 years and put it on. Michelle immediately said, “Can you wear your hat normally?” I’m not a hat guy, so the last time I put a hat on, it was totally cool to have it cocked a little to the side. Nope, not when you are 40. I looked in the mirror and realized how ridiculous I looked. I went upstairs, threw some water in my hair, and styled it as best as I could. Note to self: you are too old to wear a backwards hat cocked to the side or even frontward cocked to the side. I’ve seen some people my age pull this off, but me? Not so much!

What else can’t I pull off now that I’m 40? Can I just wear my fake Diamond earrings again?  I think I gave those up for Lent when I was 29. That was probably for the best, though. My buddies and I used to rock the double tank top. We used to wear a grey tank top and then a black one on top. Definitely not pulling that off anymore. I swear it looked really good, especially after going to the tanning salon for a few months. There is another thing. Going tanning. I highly doubt that I’m getting a membership anytime soon. Tight jeans are still all the rage now. I like a little room in my jeans so I’m sticking to the athletic fit. Athletic, I am no longer, but my jeans are!

How about cologne? My dad drilled it in my head that a man must spray a little cologne on their neck and shirt before leaving the house. I was probably 9 years old when he said that, and since then, I’ve always had a fresh bottle of cologne at the ready. I had to switch up my whole smell when I got older. Cool Water, Drakkar Noir, Polo Sport, Curve, and Tommy Boy all had to go away. My wife started buying me Givenchy, Dior, and YSL.  I don’t know what the price is, but… can you put a price on smelling amazing? I’m pretty cheap, so, yes, you can.

What else have I had to change since getting older? I just thought of this… Getting dressed up? A 40-year-old should have multiple suits or a few blazers in the closet, right? I work in the radio business, so I don’t really need to dress up much. On the rare occasion I have to, I have some go-tos. A grey suit I was gifted for my buddy DJ’s wedding back in 2014. Another suit that my mom bought me in 2017 for Christmas.  Neither of those fit because I may have put on a few pounds. I didn’t know it was this tough getting older.

Let’s talk about haircuts. I remember trying out the new trends when I was younger. Bleached blonde hair with a part in the middle like a Backstreet Boy? How about the hair pushed forward with just the front spiked up? Nope! I just go with a nice skin fade now. I no longer need to buy a bleach kit from CVS and have my mom help pull my hair through the little holes to frost the tips. Wait, was that just me?